With all the struggles and tests that our Ummah has been facing, we can never deny the tragedy that happens, might happen and has happened in our own households.
O dear wives of the Muslims, I dedicate this one to all of you.
Indeed, we can never deny that in marriage unfolds tests that our hearts could barely bear especially when it involves the tests between husband and wife.
I may not know what you are going through, but I wanted to tell you, my dear sister/mother, one who would raise lions of this Ummah, never give up on your husband!
Never give up.
Let this story of Umm Hakeem Bint Harith Radiyallahu Anha reach your heart.
_____
Do you know who was her husband?
He was Ikrimah Ibn Abu Hisham Radiyallahu Anhu, the son of ‘Umeir Ibn Hisham or famously known as Abu Jahl, one of the worst enemies of Islam!
One beautiful characteristic of this woman, Umm Hakeem, and I truly pray Allah Azza Wa Jall be pleased with her, is her love and loyalty to her husband.
When Makkah was conquered by the Muslims, ‘Ikrimah Radiyallahu Anhu who by that time was still not a Muslim, because of his fear for his life, fled to Yemen leaving behind his wife, Umm Hakeem Raiyallahu Anha.
On this time, Allah Azza Wa Jall placed guidance upon the heart of Umm Hakeem and made her enter the fold of Islam, but as she entered the fold of Islam she made a plea to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam, she said:
"Ikrimah has fled to Yemen out of fear that your loyal followers may put him to the sword; please give us the opportunity to thank you and grant him a safe haven. You are the standard bearer of mankind, the greatest and best of Allah Almighty’s creations. ‘Ikrimah is a useful man and I will try my utmost to bring him to the straight path, as I am well acquainted with his habits."
On seeing her grievous state, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam agreed and granted safe conduct for the return of ‘Ikrimah.
So, Umm Hakeem set out to search for ‘Ikrimah with her Roman slave. On the way her slave fell a prey to lust and was tempted to have relationship with her and began to flirt with her but Alhamdulillah with the intelligence and wit that Allah Azza Wa Jall bestowed upon Umm Hakeem, she deliberately played for time seeming to give in to his advances until they reached a city of an Arab tribe and there on she was able to get her Roman slave as prisoner.
Now, imagine the courage and determination of Umm Hakeem, even though this unexpected problem came it didn’t hurdle her from looking and searching for her husband, she set out alone and with the Help of Allah Azza Wa Jall, she was able to find her husband.
She convinced her husband to come back with her to Makkah for she has spoken with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam for his safety, Ikrimah agreed and they set out to Makkah.
On their way back, Umm Hakeem told him of her misfortune with their Roman slave, when ‘Ikrimah heard this, he became furious and wanted to stop on the way to Makkah, when he saw the slave, he lost his temper and killed the man.
Later then, they went and set out for Makkah. On the way he wished to enjoy his marital rights with his wife, but Umm Hakeem, a woman blessed with such piety didn’t tolerate Ikrimah even though she loved him dearly and said that it won’t be possible until he too accepted Islam and purified himself from the filth of paganism and polytheism. She refused, even though it hurt her, to allow him to even touch her.
When they have reached Makkah, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam expressed his great happiness and stepped forward to welcome ‘Ikrimah. To this, he inquired if what his wife was telling was true, and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam answered with assurance that it was true.
After this, such a wonderful conversation happened between the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam and ‘Ikrimah that went on to the acceptance and conversion of ‘Ikrimah to Islam.
_____
Subhan’Allah. What can we learn from this?
My dear sisters, it is by nature that sometimes the temper of the husband gets lost and he can be so angry but this is only because they are indeed your better half and they never want to hurt you nor think that someone else would be taking advantage of you.
Your husband needs you as much as you need him, ukhti, even though they can’t express it well through their words nor actions but know that he went his way and has proven such love and respect for you because he took you in on the most halal way, he married you and made you his wife.
Be like Umm Hakeem, that even if situations were at its worst, she never let go of her husband, she looked for him because this is what we call love for the sake of Allah Azza Wa Jall, she didn’t want to leave her husband in doom, she wanted to bring him to the right path.
Ukhti, you do not know how your actions and words can affect the heart of your husband, so never give up on him, be the most understanding when it comes to your husband, do not be the likes of those women that don’t even give time and chance to listen to the explanation of her husband.
You are Muslim woman, and Allah Azza Wa Jall made sure that what you get from His servants is what’s best for you.
Do not tolerate your husband when he commits wrong, if you truly love him, make ways to bring him back to the path, you were created emotionally stronger than him so you can take in and contemplate more on how to handle his temper and desires.
You are his better half, he will never feel complete without you.
So never give up on your husband, sometimes he just needs you to listen to him and not talk back but just listen, and believe me this will make him appreciate you more than anything.
_____
And we pray Allah Azza Wa Jall pours abundant Mercy and Love on every Muslim Home and make this love be the means to strongly bind the hearts of its inhabitants.
Amin.
Zohayma
_____
Commanders of the Muslim Army, Ghadanfar, p. 161-165
