The Wedding of 'Ali & Fatimah - Love Letters by the Sand

The beauty of halal marriage is beyond wonderful, the effect it leaves on the readers is so poignant that one would motivate on finding such same way of getting into marriage- this is what the story of the wedding of ‘Ali Ibn Abi Talib Radiyallahu Anhu with Fatimah Bint Muhammad Radiyallahu Anha is all about.

My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, if any of you are seeking for a spouse or is on a verge on doing nikkah then this story is for you, and I pray that each one of us would learn from this beautiful story.

(Tho for those who have gone through nikkah and are happily married now, then for sure the brothers would be able to narrate to the experiences of ‘Ali and the sisters on the experiences of Fatimah)

I will no longer go into full detail of who they are as we all have knowledge about them, what I am trying to focus on is the story of how they got into nikkah.
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On the day that a marriage proposal was sent to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam for the hand of Fatimah Radiyallahu Anha, a female mawla (freed slave) of ‘Ali came to him and persistently encourage him to go and seek for the hand of Fatimah.

The mawla said: "Do you know that Fatimah’s hand has been sought from the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam?"

'Ali said: "No."

The mawla said: "Her hand has been sought (in marriage). What prevents you from approaching the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam so that he may marry her to you?"

'Ali answered: "Do I have anything with which to marry?" 

The mawla said: "If you go to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam he will marry her to you."

And the mawla kept urging ‘Ali and she succeeded and made ‘Ali go and see the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam.

When ‘Ali arrived and was sat infront of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam, he was totally dumbfounded as ‘Ali said "By Allah I was unable to say anything due to awe and fright." (Ma sha Allah)

So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam asked him: "What has brought you? Do you have any need?"

'Ali then kept quiet, not a single word and he was very nervous. (Ma sha Allah)

So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam asked again: "Perhaps you have come to seek Fatimah’s hand in marriage?"

With this, ‘Ali answered so fast like without any doubt and said, "Yes."

"Do you have anything with which you will marry her?" asked the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam.

'Ali answered: "By Allah, no, O Messenger of Allah."

What about the shield I gave you?” ‘Ali said: "It is with me."

The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam then said: "I have married her to you. Send it to her and I have made her permissible for you with it."

Thus, the shield of ‘Ali became the mahr of Fatimah.

The following morning, the wedding day commenced, Asma Bint Umays Radiyallahu Anha was there and narrated the following.

"The Prophet came to the door and said: "O Umm Ayman, invite my brother for me.”

She said:"He is your brother and you are marrying (your daughter) to him?" 

The Prophet said: "Yes, Umm Ayman." So ‘Ali came and the Prophet sprinkled some water on him and prayed for him and then said: "Invite Fatimah for me."

Fatimah then came stumbling due to shyness, so the Prophet told her: "Be calm, I have married you to the most beloved of my household to me." The Prophet sprinkled water on her and supplicated for her as well.

As to the wedding feast, as narrated by Buraidah Radiyallahu Anhu ‘Ali and Fatimah had a sheep and a group of Ansar gathered for him some measures of sorghum (sweetener syrup).

On the night of consummation, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam said: "O ‘Ali do not do anything till you meet me." Then He Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam requested for water performed ablution with it and then poured the remainder on ‘Ali and then supplicated: "O Allah, bless both of them, shower Your blessings on them and bless their children."

The marriage of Ali and Fatimah happened during the 2nd year of Hijrah after the Battle of Badr and she bore him Hassan, Hussain and Umm Khultum.
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Such a beautiful narration on the path to marriage, this is how our marriages should be, before asking about what did you finish, what is your work or so, it was the piety as the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam knew the piety that ‘Ali had.

There are few points in this story that we should all reflect upon:

1) My sisters, be inspired to the fact that the most beloved daughter of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam had only the shield of ‘Ali as her mahr on her wedding. 

It is not healthy for us to go and ask for such extravagant mahr, we know that most of the time it is the parents that ask for these things but what I am trying to point out is that we should be clean of that thought, know that the best nikkah is the one of less expense.

2) My brothers, if you are really attracted to this sister to whom you really think would be the person who would help you get closer to Allah Azza Wa Jall then have tawwakul and ask for her hand in the most halal way, not on text nor on facebook or twitter or tumblr, but go tell your parents and let the arrangements be done.

If right now all you need is a push, then AKHI I AM PUSHING YOU, I am being the mawla and will persistently urge you to go and marry the sister, make her your queen and I pray Allah Azza Wa Jall blesses you both with wonderful pious children and good life ahead!

3) The Hayaa should intensify than deteriorate, the gheera (protective jealousy) should be present.

Yes, not because you are already going into marriage or that nikkah has been done then you can go out to the world and post on facebook and every single social networking site that he gave your flowers, he bought you dress, and all that.

And I mean people who flaunt their spouses, like the ones that go viral with shirts "wallah he’s mine and wallah she’s mine." (no offense). Rather than flaunting your spouse, you should be more careful with him or her, do not talk to anyone about family matters or things between the two of you too.

Also most of all, the hayaa and the gheera will help you become more sensitive to others, as hayaa would prevent you from asking about when will your friend get married or so and gheera would prevent you from talking about your spouse to a friend.

I have pointed this out as these days nikkah is prolonged until the walimah unlike with the Sahabah Radiyallahu Anhum, walimah or the wedding feast follows the next day.

4) This story is a reminder and a message to the parents who look for status in life rather than status in deen.

Beloved parents if you really want to see your offsprings settled down in good hands then choose the one who fears Allah the most.

By Allah, we do understand the need for assurance for good life for your children, but yes you will get to marry your daughter or son to a wealthy person yet do you think that good life is promised to them? Let me remind you that Allah Azza Wa Jall promised Hayaatan Thayibah (good life) to those who Fear Him, to the Believers.(See Qur’an 16:97)

I am not the one who promises you that if you give your son or daughter to a Believer of Allah then good life is given, I really do not, but Allah promises that, and we all know that the Promise of Allah is True.
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And we pray to Allah Azza Wa Jall that he makes the path to marriage easy for those who find it hard and that He bestows upon us guidance and wisdom on making decisions about nikkah. May Allah Azza Wa Jall shower you all with Hayaatan Thayibah. 

Amin.

-Zohayma-
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Stories were taken from:

• At-Tabaqaat, Ibn Sa’ad
• Dalaa’il An-Nubuwah, Al Bayhaqi 3/160
• Bihaar Al-Anwaar, Al-Majlisee, p.39
• Fadaa’il As-Sahabah 2/955, no. 342 (Sahih) } 2/858 (Sahih)
• Al Mu’jam Al Kabir, At Tabari 1153

Note: Some were paraphrased as to what I have read, nevertheless all references are stated so for further details kindly direct yourselves to the dalil. Jazakallahu Khayran.

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Story of Umm Hakeem Bint Harith Radiyallahu 'anhaa

With all the struggles and tests that our Ummah has been facing, we can never deny the tragedy that happens, might happen and has happened in our own households.

O dear wives of the Muslims, I dedicate this one to all of you.

Indeed, we can never deny that in marriage unfolds tests that our hearts could barely bear especially when it involves the tests between husband and wife.

I may not know what you are going through, but I wanted to tell you, my dear sister/mother, one who would raise lions of this Ummah, never give up on your husband!

Never give up.

Let this story of Umm Hakeem Bint Harith Radiyallahu Anha reach your heart.
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Do you know who was her husband?

He was Ikrimah Ibn Abu Hisham Radiyallahu Anhu, the son of ‘Umeir Ibn Hisham or famously known as Abu Jahl, one of the worst enemies of Islam!

One beautiful characteristic of this woman, Umm Hakeem, and I truly pray Allah Azza Wa Jall be pleased with her, is her love and loyalty to her husband.

When Makkah was conquered by the Muslims, ‘Ikrimah Radiyallahu Anhu who by that time was still not a Muslim, because of his fear for his life, fled to Yemen leaving behind his wife, Umm Hakeem Raiyallahu Anha.

On this time, Allah Azza Wa Jall placed guidance upon the heart of Umm Hakeem and made her enter the fold of Islam, but as she entered the fold of Islam she made a plea to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam, she said:

"Ikrimah has fled to Yemen out of fear that your loyal followers may put him to the sword; please give us the opportunity to thank you and grant him a safe haven. You are the standard bearer of mankind, the greatest and best of Allah Almighty’s creations. ‘Ikrimah is a useful man and I will try my utmost to bring him to the straight path, as I am well acquainted with his habits."

On seeing her grievous state, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam agreed and granted safe conduct for the return of ‘Ikrimah.

So, Umm Hakeem set out to search for ‘Ikrimah with her Roman slave. On the way her slave fell a prey to lust and was tempted to have relationship with her and began to flirt with her but Alhamdulillah with the intelligence and wit that Allah Azza Wa Jall bestowed upon Umm Hakeem, she deliberately played for time seeming to give in to his advances until they reached a city of an Arab tribe and there on she was able to get her Roman slave as prisoner.

Now, imagine the courage and determination of Umm Hakeem, even though this unexpected problem came it didn’t hurdle her from looking and searching for her husband, she set out alone and with the Help of Allah Azza Wa Jall, she was able to find her husband.

She convinced her husband to come back with her to Makkah for she has spoken with the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam for his safety, Ikrimah agreed and they set out to Makkah.

On their way back, Umm Hakeem told him of her misfortune with their Roman slave, when ‘Ikrimah heard this, he became furious and wanted to stop on the way to Makkah, when he saw the slave, he lost his temper and killed the man.

Later then, they went and set out for Makkah. On the way he wished to enjoy his marital rights with his wife, but Umm Hakeem, a woman blessed with such piety didn’t tolerate Ikrimah even though she loved him dearly and said that it won’t be possible until he too accepted Islam and purified himself from the filth of paganism and polytheism. She refused, even though it hurt her, to allow him to even touch her.

When they have reached Makkah, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam expressed his great happiness and stepped forward to welcome ‘Ikrimah. To this, he inquired if what his wife was telling was true, and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam answered with assurance that it was true.

After this, such a wonderful conversation happened between the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam and ‘Ikrimah that went on to the acceptance and conversion of ‘Ikrimah to Islam.

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Subhan’Allah. What can we learn from this?

My dear sisters, it is by nature that sometimes the temper of the husband gets lost and he can be so angry but this is only because they are indeed your better half and they never want to hurt you nor think that someone else would be taking advantage of you.

Your husband needs you as much as you need him, ukhti, even though they can’t express it well through their words nor actions but know that he went his way and has proven such love and respect for you because he took you in on the most halal way, he married you and made you his wife.

Be like Umm Hakeem, that even if situations were at its worst, she never let go of her husband, she looked for him because this is what we call love for the sake of Allah Azza Wa Jall, she didn’t want to leave her husband in doom, she wanted to bring him to the right path.

Ukhti, you do not know how your actions and words can affect the heart of your husband, so never give up on him, be the most understanding when it comes to your husband, do not be the likes of those women that don’t even give time and chance to listen to the explanation of her husband.

You are Muslim woman, and Allah Azza Wa Jall made sure that what you get from His servants is what’s best for you.

Do not tolerate your husband when he commits wrong, if you truly love him, make ways to bring him back to the path, you were created emotionally stronger than him so you can take in and contemplate more on how to handle his temper and desires.

You are his better half, he will never feel complete without you.

So never give up on your husband, sometimes he just needs you to listen to him and not talk back but just listen, and believe me this will make him appreciate you more than anything.
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And we pray Allah Azza Wa Jall pours abundant Mercy and Love on every Muslim Home and make this love be the means to strongly bind the hearts of its inhabitants.

Amin.

Zohayma
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Commanders of the Muslim Army, Ghadanfar, p. 161-165

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A Woman Desires to Marry a Man Who is Already Married

By: The Noble Shaykh Ahmad An-Najmee

Question:

This questioner from Britain asks: What is your advice for a sister who desires to marry a man who is already married?

Answer:

May Allaah reward her with goodness. Yes, may Allaah reward her with goodness. That is not something which should be cautioned against. Rather, it is upon her and upon all women that they should not be wary of or refrain from marrying a man who has a wife; or two wives; or (even) three. Na’am.

Translated By: Raha ibn Donald Batts  

http://mtws.posterous.com/sister-desires-to-marry-a-man-who-is-already

~Covered Pearls~

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LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS AND ISLAM- WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S NOT

Some of you might not agree with what I'm going to tell here, but please spare a few minutes to read it. Love, relationships and Islam.... It's really something that needs to be talked about, and that too particularly in the present times, where not many people understand the gravity of entering into a haraam relationship.

At a young age, it's natural that you may have an attraction for the opposite sex and Islam teaches us on how to control it. And why should you control it? Because when you enter into a relationship, you lose your modesty, your dignity, your virtue and your respect. I know- almost everyone has a boyfriend/girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you should as well. Forgive me for saying this, but friends are usually the main reason for your getting into a relationship. If you choose a good friend, he/she will advise you against it. That's what a real friend would do. And if your friends have relationships themselves, you would naturally incline that way too. This is why Islam stresses so much in choosing the best friends.

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